Orion Writes Religion

Orion Constellation Zeus, Poseidon, and Hermes loved king Hyrieus so much they provided him an heir by urinating on a bull hide and burying it. Out of the piss and dust, Orion was born. He became a great hunter. So great was Orion, in fact, that he ended up the world’s leading constellation, aligner of the pyramids, 1980’s motion picture company, and the place from which the ancient aliens came to inspire humanity to do all the good things humans have ever done—or so say the alien people.

In November, senior year of college, during that blissful season between midterms and finals, Marjorie and I spent our weekend nights driving around in the toolie bushes surrounding Nashville trying to get lost. Miraculously, before cell phones, before GPS, we always managed to find our way home. The same roads that all led to Rome apparently also led to either West End Ave. or 21st St., downtown, and Vanderbilt University.

Marjorie was a Yankee and I a SoCal girl—as close to aliens as two blondes in a late model beige Ford Taurus could be.

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Adventures in Nash Vegas: The Holy Loop

Spirit is spirit everywhere.

Standing on the porch of some broke-down frat house never held much appeal for M. or I. Solo cups so the campus fuzz wouldn’t know what you were drinking even though they did know. Vomiting on the lawn. Getting fucked in the back room. Being told who to blow by your sisters. Walk of shame the next day. Bad white-boy Hip-Hop.

We would ride by the houses on our way home from being out in the world and lament, “Oh, I could have had so much more fun.”

Our favorite thing was to get lost—break free of the Vander-bubble and find our way to losing our way. We had a route southward, down 21st Ave., way past where it turned into Hillsboro Rd. All the way down to Mack Hatcher Memorial Pkwy, (whoever he was). A left turn there, past the newly minted Mormon temple we had both toured during the open house, wore the little booties placed on our feet by kneeling missionaries, and surprised ourselves at how much color was inside.

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Friday Fun: It’s a Bird. It’s a Plane. It’s a Bruja?

I was doing research for my book yesterday when I came across this YouTube video of a bruja sighting in Mexico. Apparently it has made the rounds on Mexican news broadcasts and authorities have actually classified it as a bruja. How cool, (though maybe not so cool for locals who are really terrified of brujas).

I’m skeptical, of course, but it feels much better to let the imagination run away with itself.

I also found this great blog post in which a woman describes how Mexicans view brujas. She also relays her father’s story of a possible encounter with one. Read it here: Growing Up Mexican

Read. Watch. Enjoy. Tell me what you think.

-M.

 

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Imbolc Oopsies

Even though one of the worst social fails of my life happened on Imbolc, it is still one of my favorite Neo-Pagan holidays. Let’s all curl up in the candlelight as I weave my silly tale of social woe.

When I was a baby Wiccan, I found a local coven, (don’t ask me how), and decided perhaps I should celebrate the holiday with them, if they would have me. I called them up. We met in a public place. They dug me. I dug them. They asked me to come to their Imbolc celebration.

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Fire Rooster Says, “Get to Work! Lunar New Year is Upon Us!”


Happy Chinese New Year to one and all!

2017 is the year of the fire rooster. Sounds pretty awesome, right? I know very little about the Chinese zodiac, but here’s what I gathered:

Fire roosters are about punctuality (which makes perfect sense), and a strong sense of responsibility at work (which also makes sense if you consider how serious roosters are about their alarm clock duties. Saturday? Sunday? Too bad. You’re still getting up at dawn!).

It looks like we’re in for a year of focus on our noses to the grindstone, which isn’t a bad thing at all. Hard work now makes health and wealth later. Count on it as surely as you count on a cock’s crow.

What kind of work can you put into your worship/magical practices this year to make you more powerful and devoted in years to come?

I hope you all have a magnificent lunar year. Be well. Be safe. Be happy.

-M.

PS
In the second week of February, some friends of mine and I are going to the Hsi Lai Buddhist Temple in Hacienda Heights, CA to celebrate the lunar new year. Look for that post coming up soon.

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Come, Come All Ye Sinners


I saw this floating around social media last night and hard to share. I scored a healthy 22. My favorite is definitely, “sin-friendly heresy teacher.” Because that’s what we do here, right? That’s what SBB is all about. My entire career is based upon it.

I’ve seen things like this before, as we all have. What struck me this time though was that people of this ilk always push hell as a threat. I would honestly like to ask one of them: Do they not understand that the threat of hell and damnation doesn’t mean anything to a person who doesn’t believe in it and/or has a different idea about the nature of heaven and hell than they do? Surely that must have occurred to somebody at some point.

It would be akin to me telling them that if they didn’t practice Wicca, the Threefold Law would bite them in their asses. That would sound just as crazy hoo-hoo to them as their concept of hell sounds to others.

From a sheer marketing standpoint, they need to tout a consequence about which non-believers would actually be concerned, like poverty. Maybe that’s where that schmaltzy “prosperity gospel” comes from. “Worship Jesus and you get a pair of Uggs, and you get a pair of Uggs, and you get a pair of Uggs…” I bet Dr. Teeth (Joel Osteen) and his kind have brought far more people into the fold that way, albeit at a depth of about a quarter inch.

How many sins did you get?

-M.

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The Meaning of Life… and Some Stuff About Me as a Writer

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I read this last night and it blew my mind:

“Write the novel you want to read.” -Toni Morrison

Write the blog you want to read.
Be the author you admire.

Confession time:

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