Can’t Beat the Classics

Not into these fancy schmancy, Johnny-Come-Lately, who-are-you-to-design-your-own-spreads shenanigans? Looking for something more traditional? I’ve got what you need.

Look, even I can be a professional once in a while, behave myself, and do what fortune tellers are supposed to do in the way they are supposed to do it …at least for long enough to give you the best reading possible.

A standard Celtic Cross spread covers everything from who or what might be casting that foreboding shadow on your doorstep, to the potential source of the light at the end of the tunnel.

The Celtic Cross: As classic as a strand of pearls, but nowhere near as expensive and way better at predicting the future.

Claim your Cross today! (But don’t nail yourself to it. Nobody likes a martyr.)

Reading Includes:

  • Picture of the Reading
  • Interpretations of Individual Cards
  • Interpretation of the Reading as a Whole
  • Astrological Influences
  • Numerological Significance
  • BONUS (a little something special in the mail)

Reading is sent via email and/or in PDF or .docx format.

What I Need from You:

  • Your Question (be as general or as specific as you like)
  • Your Choice of Deck (Golden Tarot, Tarot of the Absurd, Prisma Visions, or Everyday Witch)
  • Your Sun Sign (this helps me better understand the astrological influences of the reading as they pertain to you specifically)
  • Any other information you would like to give me

Price: $50

Followup questions welcome. $5/card.

Sound like the reading for you? Email the pertinent details to and we’ll get the deck dealing.