Hermes got in early on Amazon and, I hear, couldn’t be happier about the drones. They might allow him to take a day off once in a while, what with being able to fork god-messages onto their grippy claws ten at a time. Who cares if they don’t quite make it to the porch? Gods reward those who are willing to do the legwork, right? Gods are also willing to help people who are willing to search through their bushes, in their flowerpots, and under the patio table to receive the answers to their prayers.
When he has the time, his sneaker collection could use a good going over, he thinks. He imagines he’ll have garden trash bags full for anyone but the Salvation Army. He could watch all-world sports on ten different TVs at once while giving his feet a paraffin treatment. And maybe, once he peeled the wax and calluses off and after he took his As-Seen-On-TV Ronco Miracle Curlers™ out, he could sext Aphrodite, persuade her to come over, and order in pizza and ambrosia cannoli to share while the Romanians gymnasticize on all ten TVs at once.